Chapter Eighteen is the eighteenth chapter of My Immortal.
Tara and Raven's sweater-poster war seems to have come to a peaceful end, and everything is as it should be. Terrible, that is.
Author's notes[]
AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!
Plot[]
Draco and Ebony return to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth) by broom. They have sex while listening to Linkin Park.
In the morning, they go down to the "Grate Hall", where they discover that Dumblydore has redecorated. The pink-painted walls and tables have now been painted black, however Dumblydore has left the "pastors of poser bands" up on the walls. B'loody Mary, Willow, Vampire, Dracula and Draco all sit together and discuss the hotness of Billie Joe Armstrong, Mikey Way and Gerard Way.
Dumblydore arrives. He has undergone his own makeover - he now wears white foundation and has dyed his "hare" and beard black. He asks the goffs to call him by his first name: Albert. The goffs think he is a poser and Willow posits that he is having a mid-life crisis.
Inconsistencies and divergences from canon[]
- Dumbledore's first name is Albus, not Albert. Moreover, he is elderly, not middle-aged. He also generally didn't have students call him by his first name, even Harry.
- There was no mention of Hogwarts having band posters on the walls in canon - even Wizarding bands like the Weird Sisters - and, due to being modeled on a medieval castle, the walls were most likely never painted pink.
Notable quotes[]
- We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.
- Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.
- Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.
- ...suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black. “……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped.
- “Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?” Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1. “BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.
- “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted.
- I was so fucking angry.