Chapter Forty-Four is the forty-fourth and final chapter of the masterpiece, My Immortal.
Author's note[]
well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!!!1 tom fleton is so hot lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!!!!1111 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.
Plot[]
Draco identifies the car Snap is driving in as his own. Snap tells Loopin he will free him if he helps him kill Vampire, Draco and Ebony. He reveals if Ebony is killed, the Dork Lord will never die. Draco also confesses that he was raped by Snap, who is a known "ropeist", so it doesn't count as sex.
Fearfully, our heroes get dressed, except for Satan. Suddenly, Satan changes into Voldemont, and reveals he knew who Ebony was all along!
After that, nearly every character from the fanfic runs into the great hall, them being Willow, B'loody Mary Smith, Diabolo and Darkness Weasly, Dracula, Hargrid, Professor McGoggle, Albert Dumblydore, Serious Blak and Lucian Malfoy, along with two newcomers called Fred and Gorge.
Voldemort casts a spell, and his broom stick comes to him "sexily". He begins flying around on it. As Slugborn cries out in shock, Harry casts a "Cruciatus" spell and the car falls to the ground. Snap crawls out of it and picks up Ebony's video camera. He threatens to show the videos of Ebony naked and Ebony and Draco having sex to the whole school if she kills him. Ebony reminds him she has the picture of him and Loopin having sex in the empty hall while Dobby was watching.
Voldemort, still flying above the group, calls everyone "foolish ignoramuses" and declares they shall all "dye" soon. Harry tells him to "think again you fucking muggle poser!" and he, Diablo, Dracula and Voldemort take out black guns, forcing a Latin (actually Mexican) standoff. Voldrimort summons Nevel's wand to him, and exclaims he will kill all present in the room, summoning lightning all over the place.
Dumbledark begs Ebony to save them. She starts to cry. All she wants to do is watch movies, slit her wrists, have sex with Draco. But, she realizes she has "sumfing more impotent" she must do. "ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” she "shoots".
Notable quotes[]
- “Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Draco angrily
- “Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. Den the Dork Lord shall never die!!!!”
- But Satan didn’t change. Instead he changed into a man with gren eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into………… Voldemont!!!!!!!111
- “Oh my goth!” Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)
- “I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!” - Harry
- “If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton.” - Snap
- “Thou shall all dye soon.” - Voldemort
- “U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.
- cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.
- “ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted.