Chapter Thirty-Seven is the thirty-seventh chapter of My Immortal.
The chapter is harder than most to follow because the first-person narration jumps randomly from character to character, without notice, and even briefly experiments with third-person and even second-person narration, before finally settling down again.
Author's note[]
AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11
Plot[]
It begins by switching to Darko's point of view. Darko and Vampire chain Hairgrid to the floor, before Enoby suggests that she could use "amnesia potion" to make Satan fall in love with her faster, as Hairgrid attempted to do with her. Vampire then compliments Ebony (here called "Tata".) A few lines later, Britney arrives and begins talking about how scary Enoby and her goffick friends are, prompting Willow to tell her to shut up.
Somebody suggests going to Proffesor Trevolry's room. The chapter abruptly shifts to Vampire's perspective as he, Ebony, and Draco go to the Profesor's room. There, they inexplicably find Tom Rid. Tom offers them clothes as the POV switches back to Ebony. Enoby then discovers from a sign that Profesor Sinister is in Azkhabian for being "too gottik", and that classes will be taught by Dubledork, who has somehow returned from prison after being sent there for being old and having "kancer". Dumblydore comes, asking Ebony and Draco "WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1". Ebony abruptly spots Morty McFly's blak tim machine and jumps inside seductively.
Back in time, Ebony discovers herself in Profesor Slutborn's "efface". She spots an amnesia potion and takes it. Slutgorn arrives at that moment, causing Ebony and him to exchange verbal blows over their presences in the efface. The reader then says “oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class”. Professor Slutborn allows Ebony to leave, at which point she meets up with the members of XBlakXTearX (Serious now going under the pseudonym Hades) and the chapter ends as she leaves with Satan.
Inconsistencies and divergences from canon[]
- The books give no hint that being gothic is illegal (or even a thing at all) in the wizarding community. Also, Azkaban is a prison, not a medical department, so sending someone there to treat their cancer or senility is a bad idea (unless Tara has confused St. Mungos' and Azkaban, as she appears to have done in earlier chapters).
Notable quotes[]
- “Oh mi f*cking satan!11” Enoby said. She wuz so hot. - Darko's POV
- “But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,” said Vampire.
- I took out da cloves from da bag.
- “WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” - Dumblydore
- “Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” - You