Harry Potter is a book series for children and young adults written by J.K. Rowling, starring the titular Harry. It should not be confused with the character of Vampire Potter in the infinitely superior story My Immortal.

The characters and storyline are complete rip-offs from My Immortal, and are definitely less interesting. But we'll give you a summary of it anyway...

Books[edit | edit source]

The Philosopher's Stone[edit | edit source]

Harry learns that he is a wizard and goes to Hogwarts for the first time. He, Hermione, Ron and Neville are sorted into Gryffindor which is extremely out of character for them as Gryffindor is where the preps go. However, Draco Malfoy IS in character for once as he gets sorted into Slytherin.

Anyway, Harry and the gang all go and destroy the Philosopher's Stone that can make you IMMORTAL. Yeah, guess where they got that from Potterheads!

The Chamber of Secrets[edit | edit source]

This book details another year at Hogwarts. Harry becomes a perv and sneaks into the girls' bathroom. Also, it turns out that Ginny (Not to be confused with Jenny 'Darkness' Weasley) is a prep too as she gets sorted into Gryffindor.

The Prisoner of Azkaban[edit | edit source]

Harry blows up his aunt and thinks he is going to go to this prison called Azkaban (not to be confused with Azerbaijan from the My Immortal series) and runs away from home. The Ministry of Magic (Not to be confused with the Mystery of Magic from GUESS WHAT?) pardons him however, and furthermore allows him to set free a prisoner.

The Goblet of Fire[edit | edit source]

Harry puts his name into the Goblet but denies it once he gets chosen. However, he regrets it when "his special friend", (cause bi guys are so hot) Cedric gets killed by this fat guy called Wormtail (obviously a ripoff of Snaketail). Harry escapes, leaving him to die.

The Order of the Phoenix[edit | edit source]

The Ministry of Magic (again, not to be confused with the Mystery of Magic) decide to take over Hogwarts, because Dumbledore is getting senile, just like in My Immortal.

The Half Blood Prince[edit | edit source]

ZOMG!111 SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111

The Deathly Hallows[edit | edit source]

Harry finds out that he is the chosen one and kills Voldemort. This is obviously stupid as everyone knows that the world famous Mary Sue, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (aka: Mrs. Longname) is the chosen one, so there!

Characters[edit | edit source]

Harry Potter[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Vampire Potter)

Harry is unlike his incarnation in Tara Gilesbie's "chronicles"; instead of his pentagram (that he always covers up with foundation), he has this dumb lighting bolt scar. He also wears glasses and is a prep as he is in Gryffindor and not Slytherin where all the "goffs" go.

He is the "chosen one" as Ebony DOES NOT MAKE ONE APPEARANCE IN THE BOOKS!!! ZOMG!!!!!! His girlfriend is Ginny Weasley, which is stupid as any reader of My Immortal knows he went out with Draco and dumped him because he liked Britney, a fucking prep mutherfocker bich. And this is before he had the hots for Enoby. Talk about a disregard for canon.

Ronald Weasley[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Diabolo Weasley)

Ron is not nearly as changed as Harry. However, he has ginger hair (instead of black hair with blue streaks in) and is, of course, a prep as he is in Gryffindor.

Hermione Granger[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with B'loody Mary Smith, pronounced 'Buh-loody Mary Smith')

Hermione is EXTREMELY out of character. She is a total bookworm when the real Hermione has never touched a single book in her life! Also, by the way she behaves you can tell she's an atheist whereas, in the original, she is HIGHLY $atanist. Also, GUESS WHAT?!? She's a mutherfocking prep from Gryffindor!

Fred and George Weasley[edit | edit source]

Well, for a start, J.K. Rowling must have got them confused with Crab and Goyle as they run a shop called Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, which sounds like Wesley's Wisard Wises from the original. Almost as bad as Hargrid (see below) or perhaps Mr. Norris who suddenly transformed from a cat that walked on two legs and spoke English to a cat who walked on all fours and changed gender!

Draco Malfoy[edit | edit source]

The only one actually (generally) in character. He doesn't hang around with preps from Gryffindor like Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred or George. All praise him!

Lord Voldemort[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Tom Satan Bombodil/Andorson)

Voldemort is the Leader of the Death Eaters, a cruel portrayal of da Death Dealers. He wants to kill Harry but instead of getting somebody else to do it for him, like Ebony in the original, he tries to do it himself.

Albus Dumbledore[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Albert Dumblydore)

This version surprisingly blacks (geddit) the original's legendary headaches.

Severus Snape[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Snap)

There is so much wrong with this version of Snap:

a) he is head of Slytherin whereas, in the original, he is Gryffindor.

b) you can clearly see he is Muslim when in real life he is cHRISTIAN

c) he doesn't hang around with Loopin (or "Lupin") witch (geddit cos im goffik lol) isn't true as they are best buds in My Immortal.

Remus Lupin[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Loopin)

Lupin is a protagonist whereas Loopin is evil!1 Talk about deviating from the source material.

Rubeus Hagrid[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Hargrid)

Probably Hargrid's uncle...or something. If it is meant to be Hargrid himself, he is totally out of character, as he is a teacher/gamekeeper, instead of being a Hogwarts student AND ALSO A SATANIST!

Sirius Black[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Hades, Vampire's Dogfather)

Seems perfectly in character to me.

Lucius Malfoy[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Lucian Malfoy)

Draco's dad is surprisingly in character despite the name. EXCEPT THAT HE HAS TWO FULLY FUNCTIONAL ARMS ZOMG?!?

James Potter[edit | edit source]

(Not to be confused with Samoro)

James is Harry's dad. He lent him the invisibilty cloak (not to be confused with the very refreshing invincibility coke).

Lily Potter[edit | edit source]

OMG! I can't believe J.K. Rowling! Adding characters of her own I mean! This bich never even appeared in the My Immortal!

Arthur Weasly[edit | edit source]

In this, instead of being a child rapist, Mr. Weasly is, for some reason, a poser prep who studies muggles.

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