- "Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?"
- ―Proffesor McGoggle
Proffesor McGoggle is a Hair of Magical Magic Creatures teacher at Hogwarts in England.
Role in the story[]
McGoggle first appears in Chapter 5, after Ebony and Draco are caught by Dumblydore "doin it" in the Forbidden Forest and are taken to her and Snape, both of whom "were both looking very angry".
She is generally disapproving of the "HORNY SIMPLETONS" in her class. This is understandable, as she interrupts Draco and Ebony having sex, as well as Ebony and Vampire making out in her classroom.
She may also be associated with Da Death Deelers. In Chapter 29, she and Snap work together to chain up Ebony, Draco, and Vampire in a "weird room with white stones all around it". Another possibility is that Snap was possessing her, as he is revealed to be capable of later in the story.
Differences from the original[]
Proffesor McGoggle is thought to be loosely based on Minerva McGonagall from the original series. While the canon McGonagall was a stern teacher and did not resort from punishing misbehaviour, McGoggle is foul-mouthed (although this seems to be a common quality among Hogwarts' staff in this fic), verbally abusive towards students by calling them "dunces" or "simpletons", and even chains Ebony, Draco and Vampire up after she and Snap discover them doing inappropriate things.
Also, in canon, she wasn’t close enough with Snape to refer to him as "Sev". Another notable change is that while Tara appears to suggest that McGoggle might be part of the Death Deelers' plan to force Ebony into killing Vampire, the canonical McGonagall, as a member of the Order of Phoenix, would have never joined Voldemort.
Lastly, Hair of Magical Magic Creatures (presuming that what Tara meant was Care of Magical Creatures) was taught by Hagrid in the books, not by McGonagall, whose subject was Transfiguration.
Quotes[]
Her famous line.
Every time McGoggle appears in the story, it is to interrupt or chastise Draco and Ebony for having sex; the quotes reflect this fact:
- "Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.
- "STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.
- "CUM NOW!1!" Preacher McGongel yielded.
- "Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle.
- Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left.